The Box
by chozencaptain
Summary: In an alternate universe Remus is kidnapped and is forced to drink a potion that turns him back into a child, with no memory. He is a young werewolf, living on the streets with no memory. Sirius finds him and offers to help, not realizing that it's Remus.
1. Prologue

_**Warning: **_Language, and reference to slash.

Prologue:

Oh, she hated them. Her hate wasn't simple or straightforward, it coursed through her very veins. Her hate was like a wound. Her whole being would shake with hatred at just the thought of them. She felt _sick_ when she saw them together. Touching, kissing. It made her want to hurt them. And on top of it all – that Lupin was a werewolf. He was nothing more than a disgusting dog, unfit to walk with normal witches and wizards. She wouldn't just make them feel pain. Oh no. She would make them _suffer_. And with that happy thought, she smiled and began to plan.

* * *

><p>Sirius had been acting odd lately. Remus knew that Sirius was busy and stressed, working in the auror office round the clock ever since the wizard serial killer had appeared a few weeks ago. Sirius had been going to work before Remus was awake and coming home late at night. Remus felt like he might as well have been living alone, for how often he got to see Sirius. But Remus hadn't commented. He knew how important Sirius' job was.<p>

Remus could tell that Sirius was just pushing the food around on his plate instead of eating it. "You all finished?" Remus asked.

"Yeah" he handed Remus his plate. As Remus left the dining room for the kitchen, Sirius put his head in his hands. He couldn't take it any longer. It was eating at him. He couldn't stand one more moment thinking about it, _picturing _it. When Remus came back in fastening his traveling cloak, Sirius felt his anger begin to bubble to the surface. "Where are you going?" His voice sounded surprisingly normal, despite the anger building inside of him.

"I'm meeting Mark tonight." Remus said as he put his cloak on. Sirius felt himself snap.

"No." Remus paused in the middle of fastening a button.

"No? What do you mean '_no_'?"

"I mean, no, you cannot go see Mark."

Remus bristled, "I _can't_? You're telling me what I can and cannot do?"

"No, I'm just telling you what you _can't _do. You're not allowed to see Mark."

"And why am I not allowed to see Mark?" Remus asked calmly.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" Sirius snarled, standing up. "Do you think I don't _know _what's going on between you?"

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"Don't play innocent with _me_, Remy. I see the way he looks at you."

"Of all the ridiculous-"

"Last time I checked you were _my _boyfriend – and I'm not sharing you with anyone else!"

"I am not your _property _Sirius. And Mark is just a friend!" When Sirius' fist connected with his jaw, the pure shock of it had him falling to the ground.

"Don't you fucking lie to me! Every night you go out with him, every night you come home smelling like him. Never spare me a passing thought, do you?"

"Sirius you haven't even been around!" Remus was furious, "You've been so busy with work that I hardly even see you anymore! And when I do see you, you just want to be left alone!"

"Don't turn this around on me! Don't you _dare _make excuses!"

"I'm not making ex-" But Sirius grabbed him by the front of his jacket and hauled him up so they were eye to eye.

"Did you bring him here?"

"What?" Remus spluttered. Sirius' grip tightened.

"Did you bring him here, to _our _house? Did you fuck him? Fuck him in _our _bed?" Remus pushed Sirius away from him.

"If you think I would ever cheat.. Ever be deceitful – then you don't know me at all. I've done nothing but support and love you. And this is what I get? Well, fuck you." Remus started to walk away.

"Remus if you walk out that door-" But Remus left and slammed the door shut behind him.

* * *

><p>Remus was fuming. He loved Sirius and <em>only<em> Sirius, but the damned idiot was too stupid to even see it. Remus' jaw was throbbing. He tentatively touched it and then winced in pain. Sirius had never hit him before… It crossed a line somehow, and Remus felt betrayed. Sirius had promised to never hurt him. Sirius had always been the one to _heal_ his injuries, not cause them. Remus sighed. No matter how angry he was, he had already forgiven Sirius. That's what you do when you love someone. _And how can I be mad at him for loving me too much? For wanting me all to himself? That's the way I feel about him after all. _Figuring Sirius still needed time to cool down, Remus decided to do some shopping. The muggle stores were prettily lit for the upcoming Christmas holidays, so he decided to wander around for a bit before returning home.

* * *

><p>Sirius didn't know if he wanted to hit something or sit down and cry. He opted for the first, since he had too much pride to give in to the latter. The red haze hadn't dissipated from his view. He was not going to lose Remus. He couldn't live without him. He didn't know what he would do without him. Without Remus…his life was blank. Everything disappeared into a void, a meaningless nothing. He had to get Remus back, had to hold him and not ever let go. He had to find Remus, and he knew just where he'd be: cuddling up with that snot-nosed Mark, complaining about how mean his boyfriend Sirius was. The anger flooded him with renewed force and he stormed out of the house and apparated.<p>

He found Mark sipping coffee in a café. He was too far gone in his rage. All he could think of was his hate for this man he didn't even know. He stepped into the café and walked straight up to Mark.

"Where is he?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Where's Remus."

"I don't know, he was supposed to meet me here a while ago. Say, aren't you-"

"His boyfriend? Yeah, that's me. You fucking asshole."

"What?"

"You stay away from Remus! He's _my _boyfriend and I'm not about to-"

"Whoa whoa, hold up. I'm not…like that." He held up his left hand. "Straight and married."

"W-what?"

"Remus and I are just friends." Sirius' legs wouldn't support him anymore. He slid into the chair across from Mark, ignoring the murmurings of the other occupants of the café.

"So you two haven't-"

"God, no. No offense or anything." Sirius shook his head. He had been wrong. Completely wrong. He had yelled at Remus and blamed him for something that had never even happened. He felt the anger slide out of him to be replaced with a new emotion: guilt. Mark looked curious, "He talks about you a lot you know. He's quite over the moon about you. What made you think that there was something going on?"

"Well I just figured…I'd come home late at night and just find a note from him saying he was gone meeting up with some guy named Mark. And then it was always 'well Mark does this, or Mark says that' and it just seemed like…"

"I haven't known Remus all that long but he doesn't strike me as the type to cheat. He's uncommonly loyal." Sirius said nothing, sitting in dazed shock. "He was lonely, you know." Sirius' head snapped up. "He always talked of how busy you were with work. He wasn't complaining or anything, in fact his voice was filled with pride when he mentioned your work, but I could tell that he missed you."

"I-I have been rather busy lately. He never said anything though, he should've told me how he felt, and I would have tried to make time!"

"And perhaps maybe you should have tried telling him how you felt, and _asked _instead of jumping to conclusions?" Mark sighed. "You're both so concerned about the other that you don't even realize the other feels exactly the same way. Why don't you go find Remus and patch things up? He's probably worried about you".

"Right," Sirius stood and was about to leave before he turned back, "I'm sorry about, well everything. And…thank you."

"No problem. Remus has been a good friend to me, I'm glad to repay the favor."

* * *

><p>It was all too easy, once you thought about it. The perfect opportunity had just fallen right into her lap. Black had left the house without even putting up any protective wards. She had simply walked up to the door, murmured a simple <em>Alohamora <em>and walked inside. All she had to do now was make a few changes to the house and wait. She had to resist the urge to laugh; soon they would be suffering.

* * *

><p>As Remus walked home, he thought it strange to see that their house lights were off. Had Sirius gone to bed already? He walked up the steps and unlocked the door. The house was pitch black. "Sirius? Are you home?" He walked into the kitchen to set the grocery bags down on the counter when suddenly he felt a blinding pain on the back of his head. He collapsed onto the floor. He heard giggling before he drifted into unconsciousness.<p>

* * *

><p>She hit Lupin from behind with a wave of her wand and kicked at him with her foot to make sure he was unconscious. Laughing, she waved her wand. Ropes appeared and wrapped around Lupin tight, the spilled groceries disappeared and with a final look about the place, she grabbed Lupin's forearm and apparated them away.<p>

* * *

><p>Sirius apparated in front of their house. Odd. The lights were off. Had Remus still not come home yet? He walked inside, calling for Remus. The house was empty. He walked upstairs into their bedroom and dropped his wand he was so shocked. Their closet door was open and all of Remus' clothes were gone. The bureau, too, had open drawers, revealing nothing but Sirius' clothes. The silly items Remus liked to collect and put about the room were gone. Remus had left? After eight years of being together, one stupid fight and he was gone? No, no, no. This couldn't be. He couldn't live without Remus. He collapsed to his knees, heartbroken. "I've ruined it. Remy…"<p>

* * *

><p>Remus awoke to a terrible smell and a terrible headache. He felt as though his head had been split in two. He tried to sit up and groaned when the room spun. He must have a concussion. He realized his hands and feet were tied. His wand was gone and he was sitting in a dark, stone room. The only light came from a cauldron, boiling on the other side of the room. The smell emanating from it was awful. He had no idea where he was. He tried to remember how he ended up here, but had no recollection. All he could remember was that he was looking for Sirius and he had been attacked from behind. Sirius. Merlin, Remus hoped he was okay. He hoped that whoever had attacked him hadn't managed to get Sirius as well. <em>Please, please, please, let him be safe.<em>

And just then, the door to the room creaked open. Remus struggled to turn round and see who it was, to know who had attacked and imprisoned him. Who he saw standing in the doorway, shocked him to his bones. His breath left him in a whoosh. He couldn't believe his eyes.

"_Sirius?_"

Sirius smiled an evil grin that Remus didn't recognize. "Sirius, what are you doing? What's going on?" Sirius closed the door quietly behind him and walked toward the cauldron.

"You know, I've always hated you, Remus."

"W-what are you talking about?"

"You're just a werewolf. A _dog_. I never really loved you. You were never good enough for me. You see, the truth of it is that I could do so much better than you." He gently began to stir the cauldron. Remus said nothing. He had always been scared that one day Sirius might realize just how dangerous and poor he was. Sirius might not want to be with him anymore – but Sirius would never _hurt _him. The punch to the face had been nothing. Surely. This couldn't be happening. This was a nightmare and he was going to wake up any moment. Wake up safe and sound in Sirius' arms. But Sirius came over to him, and forced his mouth open. He poured the potion down Remus' throat, holding him there until he choked down every last drop. Remus coughed.

"Sirius. What did you do? What did you give me?"

"Just a little potion, I've been working on. This way you'll learn the true meaning of worth and status."

"Sirius-"

"It's okay." Sirius patted his face. "You won't remember a thing. Time will change just for you".

And he watched as Remus fell into unconsciousness once more, and watched as the potion began to slowly take effect. As Sirius watched Remus change, he changed as well. His hair grew longer, and his face became more fatty. The poly juice potion had worn off. And standing there, giggling in evil mirth was Doloros Umbridge.


	2. The Box

**A/N: _Warning: _**Reference to slash. Violence. **_Disclaimer: _**JK Rowling owns all.  
><em><strong>Note: <strong>_The relationship between Sirius and the young Remus with no memories will always be platonic. There will be **NO** romantic relationship between them. Their relationship will be focused more toward a father/child relationship. The only Slash reference is when Sirius used to be with adult Remus.

* * *

><p>Chapter 1: Changed<p>

Remus Lupin awoke slowly. He opened his eyes and blinked against the unwelcome brightness. _Cold_. It was the first thought that passed through his head. He sat up and looked around. The sun was setting and he was sprawled out in a park near a street.

_Where am I?_

He stood slowly and began to walk. A lot of people were walking around, talking, holding packages. He walked up to a store and saw his reflection in the mirror. He saw light brown hair and brown eyes, set in a young face.

_Who am I?  
><em>  
>"Hey little boy!" He looked round to see a large man standing before him. He seemed to be the owner of the shop. "Are you lost? Where's your mum?"<p>

"I- I don't know."

"How old are you?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know? Quit joking me, kid. You're about six, ain'tcha?"

He looked back at his reflection. He guessed he must be six, but that felt wrong somehow.

"I- I can't remember anything. I don't know who I am." The shop keeper eyed him as though considering if the kid was fooling with him. The pure shock and confusion on the boy's face convinced him of his sincerity. The shop keeper sighed.

"My name is Luis," he said holding his hand out to the boy. "It's my duty as a good citizen to not let kids go wandering round on their own at night. Come on, you can stay here for the night, until we figure out what to do with you."

"Thank you," The boy replied quietly.

Luis made dinner and then set up a cot for the boy to sleep in, since he didn't have a spare bedroom. The boy felt a bit funny. His stomach hurt and he wondered if he had gotten ill from whatever he had eaten at dinner. The boy tossed and turned on his cot, breaking out into a sweat and feeling like he might be sick. He had a terrible headache and felt as if his head might explode. Every muscle in his body seemed ten times heavier and his whole body was tense and alert.

And then it hit him, just as the full moon rose. His whole world exploded into excruciating pain. His bones broke and grew longer. Claws ripped through the flesh of his fingertips and grew long and sharp. His face jutted outward as he grew a snout, and hair sprouted all over his body. He was growing larger and screaming from the pain of it. He had never felt anything so painful before. He lost himself in the pain.

The boy was gone and in its place stood a large wolf. The wolf was angry. It didn't recognize where it was. This place was different, and the dog that normally always played with him was nowhere in sight. The wolf then caught the scent of food. It prowled up the stairs and into a room, where a human was sleeping. A fat, juicy man lay there. The wolf was too hungry to resist. Blood splattered the walls, and the wolf howled in rapture.

* * *

><p>Sirius sat drinking away his sorrows in his favorite chair. Remus had left him and taken his heart along with him. He had only been gone a day and Sirius already missed him more than he could bear. Tonight was a full moon and Sirius couldn't help worrying if Remus was all right. Was Remus alone? He had been with Remus for every transformation since he had become an animagus in their school days. He <em>never<em> missed a transformation. Who would keep Remus from biting and hurting himself, while he was locked up so he wouldn't kill humans? Who would take care of Remus the next morning, while he was still too weak? Who would wash the sweat away from his face? Who would rub his body down, to ease his aching muscles? Who would mend his cuts and heal his injuries? Who would make him soup, since his body couldn't handle eating anything else?

Sirius needed Remus to need him. His grip tightened on the photograph he held in his lap. In the picture Remus was laughing as he ate from a box of chocolate, while Sirius was wearing a muggle lampshade on his head because he had thought muggles wore them as hats. Grief filled Sirius, and he threw the picture across the room, where it hit the mantel and the glass shattered. Sirius put his head in his hands. He had to hope that Remus would come back to him. That one day Remus would miss him enough to come back, and then Sirius would never let him go again. He would always love Remus.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Three Years Later…<br>**_

* * *

><p>For the last time Sirius, he left! He's gone! And as far as I'm concerned he better stay wherever the hell he went, because I would kick his ass if he ever came back."<p>

"James!" Lily admonished him, but then her voice softened, "I know you miss him just as much as the rest of us."

"Didn't even say goodbye," James mumbled. Lily turned to Sirius.

"How are you holding up?"

"It's been three years to the day. Not a day goes by when I don't think of him and miss him." Lily moved to hug him, when Sirius sighed. "Think I'll go back to work."

"Work? But Sirius! It's practically Christmas eve, surely the auror office will be closed."

"Mad-Eye will still be there. There's always some work to do. I'll be fine, Lily, really. Just need to get my mind off things." He left the Potter's house and began to walk, a near full moon hung in the sky.

* * *

><p>"Black! Good thing you came in tonight!" Mad-Eye said, the moment Sirius stepped into his office, "Everyone else has taken off to be with their families and we have a situation. We think there may be a werewolf living on a muggle street. Apparently he's attacked several muggles throughout the town. We need to take care of this before the muggle animal control shows up again, thinking it's a bear or mountain lion or something. And seeing how you are the most knowledgeable about werewolves you're the perfect man for the job. Just get that werewolf someplace where he won't hurt anyone, and teach him the laws. He's obviously a newly turned wolf and doesn't understand what's going on. If he breaks them again, he'll be sent to a containment center."<p>

"Yes sir," Sirius said scanning over the files that described each attack the werewolf had made. "Sir, it looks as if the muggles have been having an issue with this werewolf for a number of years, how come this is the first we're hearing about it?"

"Turns out Simmons, who's in charge of Control for Magical Creatures, has been spending his time drinking on the job."

"That explains why he's always so jolly all the time."

"Scum, has been coasting through life, instead of avidly doing his job. Now our department has to pick up the slack."

"Right, well I'll go take care of this, and then I'll be back to type up a report."

"Black, I've put you down on leave. You have the next two weeks off son."

"What? But Mad Eye I don't want time off!"

"Sirius you've been working yourself into the ground since he left. You haven't had a day off in three years. It's time you started to move on," Moody said in uncharacteristically troubled voice. "Besides," he said snapping back to his usual self, "I want my best auror on the top of his game, not mopping about because he got his feelings hurt. So take the two weeks and sort yourself out. Bring me a report about the werewolf when you get back. Constant vigilance!"

Sirius sighed. Now what was he going to do? He had planned to work so he wouldn't have to think about the anniversary of Remus' departure. He looked down at the werewolf file in his hand. Perhaps the werewolf would need a place to stay. Sirius didn't want to be stuck alone in his house and obviously the werewolf needed someone to teach him how to lock himself up during transformations so he wouldn't hurt others. Sirius sighed again. How he wished this werewolf would be Remus. But Remus would never allow himself to hurt others. Remus was long gone, and Sirius might have to start accepting the fact that he was probably never coming back.

* * *

><p>Rain. It was cold and wet. The damp smell of the pavement was the main scent he breathed in. The cardboard box he was huddled in offered little relief from the rain. He could feel the cold seep into his bones and he shivered. The rain dripped from his damp, dirty hair, and fell lightly to the ground. Footsteps, a few people passing by. One of them was holding food. Hunger, it clawed at him like an angry beast. He wondered vaguely why these people were out walking this cold, dark street anyways. If he had the choice he would be far away from any street. The sun sank lower in the sky. It became dark and grew colder. The footsteps were long gone. No one walked this street at night. Danger. Even normal people could sense it.<p>

His teeth were chattering and he was shaking, but he couldn't feel the cold anymore. He was numb. He sat hunched and shivering in the dark silence. And then he heard it. Light footsteps in the distance. Shock registered through the numbness. No one walked down this street at night. They had all heard of the monster that lived on this street. The footsteps grew closer. He huddled deeper under his cardboard box, waiting for the person to pass. But as the footsteps came nearer, they slowed and then stopped altogether. Someone was standing out in front of his box. A man stood there. The man crouched so he was eye level with the monster in the box. The man held out his hand. The boy stared at the man's hand. He didn't understand what the man wanted. His hand was large and the boy had learned not to come within reaching distance of big hands. He recoiled. The man spoke, "I'm not going to hurt you." The man's voice was quiet and calm. The boy in the box was confused, he was used to people yelling and screaming at him. The soft tones didn't register. The man's hand was still there, as if waiting for him to take it. The boy crept a little closer.

"That's it. Just a bit more." Tentatively, the boy poked his head out of the sideways turned box. The box was his home, his safe haven. What was he thinking? He was about to hide once more, when the wind shifted and he caught the man's scent. It was _soothing_. He smelled like warm cider and some other scent he couldn't identify. Captivated, he leaned closer and sniffed the man's hand. The man's eyes were fixed on his. The man moved his hand very, very slowly until he gently touched the young boy's head. The boy flinched at the touch, despite how gentle it was. But the man slowly patted his head. "I won't hurt you." The boy relaxed just enough to allow himself to lean in to the man's touch. He hadn't had anyone touch him in a long time. No one had wanted to. And no one had ever touched him this softly, as if he were delicate. He was used to people treating him like the monster he was. There was no pain, no slaps. It felt _nice_.

"You must be hungry." The man slowly moved his hand toward his jacket pocket. He moved slow, letting the boy's eyes follow each movement. The man drew out a small rectangular package. He opened it, bit off a piece to show it was safe to eat and held out the rest. "It's chocolate." The boy didn't need the man to tell him that. He could smell it. Practically taste the scent on his tongue. His stomach growled. The man raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Go on. I know you're hungry." The boy hesitated for a moment longer and then he snatched the food and began feasting. He quickly chewed, his eyes never once leaving the man's. "Take your time. There's no need to rush." But the boy continued to eat quickly until the chocolate was gone. The boy stared at the man, unsure of what he would do next.

"My name is Sirius. What's your name?" _Name_? The boy thought. He frowned. Surely he had one. He couldn't quite remember. It had been a long time since anyone had asked him what his name was. He thought hard, but all he got for his efforts was a headache. He had no idea. After a long pause, Sirius spoke again. "Well that's okay. How about a name I could call you by? I can't just call you box." Sirius smiled. Sirius thought for a moment, "Hmmm, how about the name Conan?" The boy stared at him for a bit and then nodded slowly. "Conan, I was wondering if you wanted to come live with me. I could give you some warm dry clothes, get you some food?" Conan made no response. "If you don't feel comfortable you could always come back here if you wanted. I just want to help you." Sirius held out his hand again. Conan stared at it. Things couldn't be worse than they already were. He had nothing to lose. Conan tentatively reached out. Sirius took his hand as Conan gradually clambered out of his box. Conan slowly stood, staggering a bit.

"Bloody hell! Your foots broken!" Conan looked down curiously. He couldn't quite remember when that had happened. His foot hung at an odd angle. "Sweet Merlin. Come on then, there's no way you can walk." The man picked him up and carried him. As Sirius walked forward, Conan looked back. The moonlight illuminated his old home, his box. He hoped he would never have to see it again.

* * *

><p>"Well this is my home." Sirius said as he stepped into a living room. Conan looked around the house, it seemed oddly familiar. "It can be your home too if you want." He gently set Conan down on the couch. "First things first. Let's fix that foot of yours okay?" Conan nodded as he looked around the room. It was bright and comfy looking. Gorgeous red drapes hung by the window. The couch and chairs looked like the perfect place to curl up on and the crackling fire created a warmth that spread throughout the room. Sirius sat on an ottoman and gently lifted Conan's foot. He pulled out a wand. Conan was shocked that this kind man was a wizard. The only wizards he had met were mean and cruel. Sirius waved his wand, murmuring. Conan felt his foot grow warm. He looked down, and his foot was healed. He rolled his ankle in wonderment. He looked up at Sirius, who was smiling. "Feel better?" Conan shyly held out his hand, which was also hanging at an odd angle.<p>

"You've more broken bones? Merlin's socks!" he waved his wand again, discovering Conan also had several broken ribs and some pretty serious gashes. Frowning, he began muttering healing charms. "We should probably clean some of those cuts before I heal them. Don't want any infections, do we? Bet it's been awhile since you've had a bath, huh? Come on, then. I'll show you where you can wash up." He led Conan up the stairs, Conan following like a lost puppy. Sirius turned into a room and waved his wand. "Here's a bar of soap. Take your time, alright? I'll be right downstairs if you need anything." He quietly shut the door behind him. Conan, feeling extremely out of place, stood still for several minutes not knowing quite what to do. He tapped into his heightened senses. He could hear the man, Sirius, puttering around downstairs. He could smell something that reminded him of _something_, that unknown scent he had caught earlier. Stepping forward he realized it was the bar of soap that Sirius had gestured to. It was this familiar, soothing scent that calmed him.

He stripped out of his filthy, torn clothes. The tub was filled with hot bubbly water. Conan stepped in and moaned in delight. The warmth seeped into his frozen bones as he sank into the bubbles. He simply lay there for a while in pure bliss.

Conan hadn't realized just how dirty he was. The water quickly turned dirty as Conan became clean. The bathtub must've been magically charmed however, because the dirty water was quickly replaced with fresh, hot clean water. Conan scrubbed himself with the bar of soap, feeling years of dirt dropping away. He scrubbed his hair and made sure any trace that he had been living on the streets was cleaned away. He finally stepped out of the tub, feeling better than he had in years. It felt nice to be clean, like Sirius. Conan's skin was shiny and fresh. He stood in front of the mirror and couldn't recognize himself. Without the mud and blood on his skin, his scars and cuts were a stark contrast to his pale skin. His hair was a lighter color brown than he had originally thought it. He looked around the room. He didn't want to put his old dirty clothes on, now that he was so clean and new. He opened the bathroom door a crack and poked his head out. Sirius was nowhere in sight, but the door bumped against a pile of clean clothes lying neatly on the floor.

Conan made his way downstairs. His feet padding softly on the floor. He could smell something delicious and his stomach growled hungrily. Conan followed the scent and the sound of Sirius' movements. He found Sirius just setting a plate down on a small round kitchen table. "Ah! There you are! Perfect timing, I made dinner." The delicious smell was torture, hinting at a sure to be delicious taste. "Hmm guess I didn't shrink the clothes enough. Want me to fix it?" Conan shook his head; he couldn't take his eyes off the food. "Go on. It's okay to eat. I know you're hungry." Conan needed no further encouragement. He leaped forward, swiftly sat, and began shoveling food into his mouth.

Sirius didn't comment on how gross the sight before him was. Instead his eyes were full of pity. It was wrong for anyone to be this hungry, this badly starving. With the dirt and blood gone, the boy's face shone. He was even skinnier than Sirius had first guessed. He could see the boy's ribs poking through the shirt. The food quickly disappeared as Sirius gave the boy seconds, then thirds. After Conan had pushed his empty plate away, and gave a sigh of contentment, Sirius grinned. "I'll bet you could eat more than a hungry Quidditch team." Conan gave a small smile for the first time, and then stifled a yawn.

"I got a room ready for you. Come on kid, I bet all that food has made you sleepy." Sirius once again led Conan upstairs. He pushed open a door. "Here's your room. My room is right across the hall if you need anything, right?" Sirius moved into the room. He pulled down the bed covers, and helped Conan scramble up into bed. Conan sat upright touching a pillow, in wonderment. It was then when he looked up at Sirius with tears in his eyes that Sirius felt his heart break for the boy. A single tear ran down Conan's cheek. Sirius wiped it away with the pad of his thumb. "Keep your chin up, kid. You deserve all of this and so much more. You're worth it." He ruffled his hair and murmured "_Nox_."

"Goodnight, Conan." He left the door of the room slightly ajar, letting the light filter in a bit from the hallway.

Conan lay back against the pillows. He was scared to fall asleep. Scared he'd wake up and find this was all just a dream. Scared he'd wake hungry, dirty, and in pain. He rolled over onto his side and looked out the window. The bright moonlight from a near full moon splashed into the room. Conan shivered. He was scared of far too many things.

_He was running. Trying to out run the moon; it was slowly rising. He couldn't handle the transformations any more. They were too painful. He was too tired. As he sprinted over the top of a hill he lost his footing and tripped and tumbled head first down the other side of the hill. He felt a bone snap but this was so slight a pain, compared to his transformations, he barely noticed. Lying spread-eagled on his back, he watched as the full moon rose. His heart pounded and then he let out a blood curdling scream as his body ripped and grew. Screamed as the monster inside him burst free._

Sirius jolted awake when he heard screaming. Jumping out of bed and running bleary eyed into Conan's room he found the boy thrashing and screaming in his sleep. "Conan. Conan! _Conan!_" He shook the boy's shoulder. Conan snapped awake, panting and began to fight Sirius off. "Hey, hey! It's okay. You're safe. You're safe. You can't be hurt here." Conan stopped hitting Sirius' chest and curled his fingers into Sirius' shirt as he began to sob. Sirius sat down and wrapped his arms around Conan. "Sshh, you're okay." He rocked him back and forth. As Conan's sobs subsided to a light whimpering, Sirius made to get up but Conan's grip tightened. He looked up at Sirius with pleading eyes. "Alright, I'll stay. Try to get some sleep though, okay?" Conan nodded and snuggled closer to Sirius. He had never had someone care for him like this. It felt wonderful to know that someone cared. He felt safe with Sirius there. Sirius had saved him. And even if Sirius was going to throw him back on the streets tomorrow, he had the memories of being cared for to get him through. He would revel in this temporary bliss and soak up each moment. And with that thought in his mind he slowly began to fall asleep; safe in Sirius' arms.

Sirius looked down at Conan's tear streaked face, dozing on his chest. He had never thought he'd wanted kids before but he kind of liked the idea of taking care of someone else. He missed caring for Remus, comforting him when he had been in pain after his transformations. Taking care of this kid filled some of the gap in Sirius' lonely life. It felt good to be needed, especially by someone who was in desperate need of love and attention. Sirius brushed back a stray lock of Conan's long hair. A haircut would be the first thing on the agenda for tomorrow. And, planning away he drifted to sleep with Conan's head resting gently on his chest, close to his heart.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Please leave a review and let me know what you thought! More chapters to come soon!


	3. Safe

**A/N: _Warning: _**Reference to slash. **_Disclaimer: _**JK owns all. _**Note: **_The relationship between young Remus and Sirius is platonic.

* * *

><p>Chapter 2:<p>

Conan awoke the next morning to a delicious new scent. He pushed back the bed covers and jogged quickly down the stairs. He entered the kitchen just in time to see Sirius flip something from a pan and catch it behind his back. Conan smiled and when Sirius started dancing about as he cooked Conan couldn't help but laugh. Sirius turned round and grinned. It was nice to hear the kid laugh. "I'm making breakfast. Bacon, eggs and pancakes coming right up. There's juice over there, if you want." Conan poured himself a glass of juice as Sirius dished up the food. "I cooked extra because I know how big your appetite is, so dig in. Eat as much as you want." However when Conan went to shovel food in his mouth with his hand as he had last night, Sirius stopped him and held out a fork. "There's no need to rush. Take your time, kay? Don't want to get a stomach ache." Conan blushed, embarrassed by his lack of manners, and took the fork.

Sirius watched him eat. The boy still ate fast. It must be some engraved survival instinct to 'get what you can, while you can,' but at least he wasn't attacking the plate of food with as much ferocity and desperation as he had last night. When Conan had eaten enough food to feed a hungry herd of hippogriffs, Sirius cleaned off the plates. "So I was thinking maybe we should give you a haircut. Your hair is a bit long. It'll probably be easier to manage if it's shorter, but it's up to you." Conan nodded. Sirius eyed him. "Do you know how to talk? I mean…I'm just curious is all." Conan shrugged. He thought he probably could but he'd never needed to before, he'd had no one to talk to. Sirius cleared his throat. "Right, so is that to a yes to a bit of a hair trim?" Conan nodded, smiling slightly.

Conan sat very still as Sirius cut his hair. Too still. It wasn't right for a boy to be able to sit this still without moving around or fidgeting. But then, Sirius supposed, there wasn't a lot of room to move around when you lived in a box. He must be used to it. Sirius guided his wand carefully, as he trimmed the boy's hair. He silently thought to himself how similar Conan's hair was to Remy's. The color and the texture were practically identical.

"Alright, I'm all finished." Conan stood up and turned around. Sirius felt his breath catch in his throat. _Remus. _Conan looked just like a young Remus. Without the near shoulder length hair hiding half his face, this boy looked just like him. Could it be him? No, impossible. The resemblance was terrifying. Sirius stood, frozen, as the boy picked up the mirror Sirius had brought down so he could look at the haircut. Conan was smiling, and a shudder ran through Sirius. He even had the same smile.

Conan caught the look on Sirius' face, and wondered if he had done something wrong. Sirius took a deep breath, telling himself that he was just being crazy from missing Remus and that Conan was just a little boy. Coming back to himself, Sirius gave a small smile.

"Looks good, kid." Sirius busied himself cleaning up. "We should probably pick up some food. You eat almost as much as me."

* * *

><p>Remus had been the one to show Sirius the muggle grocery stores when they had first moved in together. Sirius had wandered around in amazement, saying a bit too loudly "<em>Genius<em>, these muggles!" and wondering out loud "What in the name of merlin is 'see-re-al' and why does it cover a whole aisle of the store?"

Sirius had been coming to that same store ever since then. He felt it helped him connect with Remus. Watching Conan wandering around the store was a surreal experience. Sirius let Conan pick out anything that he wanted. Sirius supposed he shouldn't have been surprised when Conan shyly handed him a chocolate bar. Sirius told himself that the reason Conan had picked this particular food item was not because he was secretly Remus in child form (and thus chocolate was his favorite food), but that it was the first food Sirius had offered him – and perhaps he just found it delicious, as most people do. Sirius had a bit of headache and heartache from thinking of Remus this much.

* * *

><p>"So, I have a few chores to do around the house, would you like to help me?" Sirius asked after they had returned home and put away the groceries. Conan nodded. Sirius led Conan out in front of the house where a small but beautifully kept garden was. "We gotta pick out all the weeds, so that the flowers can grow." Conan knelt beside Sirius and followed his example, plucking out the weeds. "Make sure to grab them from the base so that the root of the weed gets pulled out too. That way they won't grow back as fast." They worked in comfortable silence for a time, the warm sun shining down on them. Conan liked the feel of the earth through his fingers; it was an oddly calming chore.<p>

Sirius could easily have pulled all the weeds in a second by magic, but he never had. This was Remus' garden; and he'd never done anything in his garden using magic. Neither would Sirius.

"This was my... friend's garden," Sirius spoke softly. "He loved gardening. I never really understood it at the time. Thought it was just an easy way to get covered in dirt. Now that he's gone, though, I think I understand why he loved it so much."

When the garden was properly pruned of all weeds, Sirius stood and then led Conan round to the backyard. "I started my own garden back here, and it could use some work." Conan felt his mouth hang open stupidly as he stared at the garden. It was large and beautiful. All kinds of flowers bloomed prettily, and in one corner there were multiple kinds of food growing.

"Once I got started gardening, it was hard to stop," Sirius said smiling at the expression on Conan's face. "I have some seeds that need to be planted." Sirius began puttering around in a shed while Conan walked around admiring the garden. Perhaps it was the overall greenness that took Conan by surprise. He had grown up on concrete and had always been surrounded by buildings and pavements. To have this much color surrounding him was a bit shocking.

The backyard was huge with lots of grass that led toward a forest. It seemed like Sirius wasn't much of a stickler for neighbors.

"Here," Sirius said, stepping out of the shed once more, his arms full with shovels and packages of seeds. He knelt next to a patch of dirt that had yet to be filled with flowers. He showed Conan how to plant the seeds.

They spent the next few hours in companionable silence, as they worked the earth together. It was hot as the sun beat down relentlessly. Sirius handed Conan a muggle hose to help water the plants while he used his wand. Sirius looked over to see Conan carefully watering the recently planted flowers.

A mischievous grin crossed Sirius' face. He aimed a strong shot of water at Conan, totally soaking him. Conan stood, water dripping off of him. He grinned and aimed the hose back at Sirius and soon a massive water fight ensued. They ran about the backyard, dosing each other with shots of water. Sirius conjured up a bowl of water balloons (a muggle item Lily had later regretted introducing to the Marauders) and the fun took on a new level, as they ducked and dodged about. When both of them were exhausted, totally drenched, and breathless from laughter they collapsed onto the soft grass.

"It's been awhile since I've had a water fight," Sirius grinned, lounging on his back and folding his hands behind his head to watch the blue sky. Conan mimicked his pose. "Feels great to cool off on such a hot day like this. Hey, Conan, look at the cloud over there! Doesn't it look like a dragon?" Conan nodded, smiling, then pointed over at another cloud which looked like a rabbit. The two whiled away the remaining hours of the day, letting the sun dry them off, before they headed back inside so Sirius could start making dinner.

Conan couldn't remember a better day in his whole life. He had laughed and played like a normal boy would. He hadn't had to worry about finding food or people chasing him or yelling at him. It was so relaxing, that it terrified him. As Sirius told Conan funny stories about how he had been a total prankster back when he was a kid, Conan felt his heart ache. How he wanted to stay here forever. And knowing that he couldn't, that he shouldn't, broke his heart.

* * *

><p>Conan was scared. He knew he had to leave. He couldn't stay in this house. If he did, he'd just end up hurting Sirius – and that was the last thing he wanted to do. Sirius had saved him, given him a home. And as hard as it was to leave the safety and comfort of Sirius and his house, he would do anything to protect Sirius. Conan was nothing more than a monster; a monster that would kill and hunt, without a moment's remorse. Conan quietly slipped out of bed. He had waited for Sirius to fall asleep and could hear the light snoring coming from his room through the open door. Walking slowly and softly so as not to step on any creaks, he made his way downstairs and out the front door. Conan stood outside the house and looked up to where he knew Sirius' room was.<p>

"Thank you," he whispered.

He turned and started to walk down the street, trying not to cry. He had made it only about half way down the street when he heard, "Conan!"

Conan whipped around to see Sirius standing on the footstep to the house. Conan's wolf eyes could see the confused look on Sirius' face from where he was. Conan turned and took off running. It was too much temptation to stay, and he knew he had to get away, otherwise bad things would happen. They always did.

"Conan! Conan! Where are you going? Come back!" Sirius chased after him. Sirius ran full out, trying to catch up. _Damn, the kid can run._ When he caught up to him and grabbed his arm to turn him around, he saw tears in Conan's eyes. "Conan. Why are you running away? Did I do something wrong?"

Conan shook his head, tears falling fast now. "Sirius...," The boy whispered. Sirius' eyes widened. It was the first time he had spoken. "Sirius, I have to leave."

"Why?"

"Because I hurt people. I don't mean to do it, honest, it just happens. So I have to leave so you won't get hurt." Conan tried to pull his arm free from Sirius' grasp to run away but Sirius didn't let go.

"Don't you understand?" Conan yelled, trying to yank his way out of Sirius' grip. "I'll kill you!"

"Conan." Sirius said in a calm, low voice. Something in his tone made Conan stop thrashing around. "Do you know why I gave you the name Conan? It means wolf. I already knew you were a werewolf, Conan. It doesn't bother me. As long as you're properly taken care of, you won't hurt anyone."

"I-what?" Conan stared blinking.

"So please, don't leave."

"You knew?"

"Yes," Sirius brushed a stray hair from Conan's eyes.

"You took me in, knowing I was a monster?" Conan asked, bewildered. "Why?"

"You're not a monster, Conan. You're a human being; you just have a bit of an…issue, so to speak, once a month."

"Issue? I've killed people."

"But you don't have to. If you take the necessary safety measures, no one has to get hurt."

"What do you mean?"

"You know that shed I have in my backyard?"

"Yes."

"There's a room underneath it, with a tunnel that leads deep into the forest. As a werewolf, you'll be comforted by the animals in the forest around you, instead of being lost in the blood thirst for humans. Come home with me, I'll show you."

"But-"

"Won't you at least try trusting me?" Sirius' eyes bored into Conan's and Conan couldn't make himself protest any more. As Sirius gently tugged his hand to get him to follow, Conan merely followed, too shocked to think clearly. Sirius led him round the backyard, into the shed and lifted up a trap door, revealing stairs and a passageway. "See? You can spend your nights out in the forest, away from humans and away from the danger of hurting others. You'll be safe."

"Safe…" Conan tried the word. It felt foreign. Sirius knelt down on one knee, so he'd be at Conan's height.

"Thank you, for worrying that you might hurt me," Sirius smiled, and hugged Conan, who stood shocked for a moment before slowly wrapping his arms around Sirius.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Let me know what you thought! The next chapter should be up soon! And let me say the next chapter has one of my favorite moments in this story. My birthday is on the ninth so you should leave me a review as an early birthday present! Kay? xD Love to my readers!

Here's a preview for the next chapter: "That has nothing to do with Conan!" "It has _everything_ to do with Conan! Don't you see?"


	4. Loopy

**Disclaimer: **JK owns all.

Chapter 3:

After that emotionally exhausting night, the next morning began similarly to the day before. Conan woke up late, Sirius cooked them breakfast and the two of them sat together, eating and laughing. The feel of familiarity and routine was sensed by both of them. It felt as if this was the way things had always been and would always continue to be.

Conan's throat felt sore. He had never talked this much in his entire life. He would comment or ask questions about the hilarious stories Sirius would tell him and laugh till his sides hurt and he couldn't breathe from all the laughter. Conan noticed that Sirius seemed to talk about two blokes more often than the others: one named Remus (or Remy) and another named Moony. Conan thought the name Moony was a bit stupid, but he didn't comment; he was obviously an important friend to Sirius. It occurred to Conan that perhaps _he_ could be Sirius' friend one day, if he proved himself good enough company. The idea left a funny feeling in his stomach, like he had pygmy puffs running around inside him.

Sirius was telling one hilarious story of how, Remus had taken Sirius to his parent's house for Halloween one year. When they had arrived in the neighborhood and Sirius saw all the people dressed up as witches and wizards he began running around yelling "You're breaking the Statute of Secrecy! They're not supposed to know we exist! What are you doing?" It was only when Sirius started attempting to hide the people dressed as witches, by assuring them he would do a disillusionment charm on them, that a laughing Remus had pulled Sirius aside and told him that these were all muggles and they were merely pretending.

"So where are you from?" Sirius asked, tired of talking about himself.

"I don't know. The earliest thing I can remember is waking up in a park."

"Wait, so you've never had a home before? A family?" Sirius asked in disbelief. Conan nodded.

"That's awful!" Sirius said, clearly disgusted. "Well, don't worry, you'll just have to live here, and Ican be your family." Sirius was too busy with his breakfast, that he didn't notice the look of pure joyous disbelief on Conan's face.

After having put the food away, Sirius was in the mood for a good fly.

"Hey Conan, have you ever ridden a broom before?" Conan shook his head, having no idea what Sirius meant.

"I'll teach you, then! It's seriously the best thing there is, and trust me, when I'm Sirius, I'm serious." Sirius chuckled at the joke that never got old for him, while Conan merely raised an eyebrow with a small smile on his face.

Sirius felt a tug at his heart, Remus used to make that same face at his non-changing joke. Sirius led him out to the backyard, grabbed two broomsticks from the shed and handed one to Conan. "Right so, get a good grip – you don't want to fall off. A bit lighter; you don't need to squeeze the thing to death. There you go. Now you're going to kick off the ground. Don't look at me like that, it's easy! You'll just hover above the ground; I swear we won't go so high that you feel uncomfortable. Ready? Good! Keep the broom steady. Lean forward slightly, there you go! You're a natural!" Sirius grinned at Conan, hovering in the air on his broom, with an expression of pure terror mixed comically with delight. Sirius mounted his own broom, kicked off and soared up into the air.

"Come on, then! I know you can go higher!" And with that Conan took a deep breath, and lost his nervousness as he chased after Sirius. The two darted about in the sky, their laughter and the wind the only sounds to be heard.

When they had tired, they landed and Sirius poured themselves some hot chocolate to ward off the chill they felt on their skin from flying for so long.

"Sirius…the full moon is tomorrow tonight," Conan said quietly.

"I know. It'll be okay," Sirius told him. "Look at me, Conan." Conan looked over at Sirius' serious expression. "I promise you that you'll be safe and that you won't hurt anyone. I'll make sure of it."

Conan nodded and looked at the sky through the window, desperately hoping that Sirius was right.

Conan and Sirius were sprawled out in the living room, playing chess. Conan, after learning the rules from Sirius, had proceeded to beat Sirius spectacularly every time. Conan was setting up the game for another match, when an owl swooped in through the open window and dropped a red envelope on Sirius' head.

"Oh no..." Sirius said as he took hold of the letter. "A howler. Damn it all, I forgot about dinner."

Just as he finished speaking the letter opened and a woman's voice began yelling, "SIRIUS BLACK! You get your furry little butt over here _right this instant_! And don't try giving me any b.s. about working, we already talked to Mad-Eye and we know you're on leave! If you are not here in five minutes, I swear I'll castrate you!"

Sirius raised his eye brows and looked over at Conan who was no longer lying next to him but who was hiding behind Sirius' favorite chair. "Conan?" The boy was shaking. "Did the letter scare you?"

Conan looked a bit embarrassed, "Sorry. I haven't been around magic too much. It's still new to me."

"I'm sorry," Sirius said. "That was Lily. She and I are actually good friends, she's just a bit... vocal sometimes. It's okay, you're safe, nothing will hurt you." Conan hesitantly came back to sit next to him. "Looks like we're having dinner at my friend's house. Do you mind? I did promise them I would be there tonight."

Conan shrugged.

"Right, well we'd better hurry, because I don't want to be ca-, er, let's just hurry."

Sirius stood up and conjured up a traveling cloak for Conan and wrapped it around the boy. He then threw floo powder into the fire place, where green flames instantly erupted. Shocked, Conan leaped backward, tripped over the chess set, and landed flat on his bottom. Sirius reached out a hand to pull him up. "These flames won't hurt you, I promise. Here, hold my hand." And Sirius led him through the flames. "The Potter's house!" Conan and Sirius were engulfed by the flames and spun faster and faster before slowing to a stop in an unfamiliar room.

As Sirius stepped out of the fireplace, he was met by Lily: hands on hips, eyebrows raised, and that look in her eye that told Sirius he better have a good reason for being late.

"Sorry I'm late, Lils. Honestly, I meant to come. I just totally forgot that today is Christmas."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Honestly, how can you forget a major holiday?"

Sirius grinned, "Just as easily as I forget when your birthday is."

"I still haven't forgiven you for that, you know." Sirius let out his bark of laugh.

"I'll make it up to you on your next birthday. I hope you made extras for dinner because I brought a guest."

"You did?" Lily asked, surprised.

"Yeah," he reached behind him, where he knew Conan was hiding, "this is Conan." Sirius brought the boy out from behind him. Conan was clutching onto Sirius shirt, and looking nervously up at Lily.

"It's very nice to meet you, Conan. My name is Lily."

"He's a bit shy. And he doesn't talk much." Sirius said, gently resting his hands on Conan's shoulders.

"Well Conan I hope you like turkey and mashed potatoes." Conan nodded.

Sirius laughed, "Trust me kid, her cooking is better than mine. She'll spoil you."

"Is that Sirius? Blimey – haven't heard you laugh in years, mate. Been thinking your vocal cords were broken or something," James said as he bounded into the room carrying a toddler Harry in his arms.

"Prongs, this is Conan. Conan this is my friend James and their son Harry."

"Nice to meet you. So my darling, beautiful wife, is it time for dinner, now that Sirius is here?"

"Yes, we can start now. James has been drooling over the food for the past hour."

"Yeah, mate. You kept us waiting!" James complained as his stomach growled in agreement.

"Good. You could do with losing a few pounds. You're starting to look a bit pudgy," Sirius teased.

"I am not! Right Lils?"

"Hmmm…I'd prefer not to comment."

"You're not even going to defend the sexiness of your own husband? Oh, the betrayal!"

The laughing and good natured teasing continued throughout dinner. The food was delicious. Conan took in everything with wide eyes. These people were so outgoing, so loving. He wished he had had a family like that.

Conan felt a tug on his shirt and looked over to see Harry leaning out of his high chair to draw his attention.

Conan smiled, and held out a hand for Harry to grab onto. Harry looked at him happily and said, "Loopy! Loopy, Loopy, Loopy!" Silence fell around the table, as every eye went to Harry and Conan. Conan didn't know what he had done wrong.

"Daddy!" Harry cried, wiggling in his chair excitedly, oblivious to the sudden tension in the room. "Daddy, look Loopy!"

"No Harry. That's Conan. Loopy isn't here anymore, remember?"

"No." Harry said defiantly, "Is Loopy!" No one seemed to know how to respond, and there was an awkward silence until Lily stood and started clearing dishes from the table, muttering about how she should get the extra food wrapped so Sirius could take some home with him. James followed her cue, "Well Harry, I think it's time for your bath and then bedtime!"

"Awww," Harry whined, sadly.

"Come on, sport. Let's go." And James swung Harry up into his arms and left the room to Sirius and Conan.

Conan looked over at Sirius, who wasn't looking at him, but staring down at his hands. He waited for a moment, waiting for Sirius to say something. But he didn't. Conan couldn't handle the silence anymore. He got up and walked over to Sirius and stood next to him. From there he didn't know what else to do, so he simply did what Sirius did to him when he was upset or scared. Conan wrapped his arms around Sirius and hugged him.

Sirius didn't realize he had been holding his breath, until he felt it whoosh out of him. Harry had always called Remus, Loopy. A cute little nickname that he had loved to use. When Remus had first gone missing, James and Lily had had to answer countless times the question: "Where's Loopy?" Tonight had felt almost normal. How it should be, until Harry had shown the reality that there was still a piece missing from this picture. Sirius looked up at Conan who was looking at him with concerned eyes.

"You didn't do anything wrong. Harry thought you were someone else."

"Your friend?"

"Yeah," Sirius looked at Conan. "You do look just like him, which is why Harry got confused. Except the eyes. Your eyes are different. You have brown eyes while Remus had…Remus had….THE EYES!" Sirius shouted suddenly standing up. "Oh my god, it's the eyes! But why didn't I realize it before!"

"Sirius?" Lily asked as she and James came back in the room. "Is everything alright?"

"James! Look, look!" Sirius grabbed James' arm and brought him in front of Conan, who looked extremely nervous, as he wasn't quite following what was going on.

"He's got brown eyes, right?"

"Er, yeah. Sirius are you alright mate?" James asked concernedly.

"And Remus had amber eyes, right?"

"Sirius-"

"Didn't he?"

"Well yeah, he did. What are you on about?"

"Don't you see? When wizards are bitten by a werewolf at a young age they keep their normal eye color, but once they hit puberty they often change, mixing with the yellow eye color of werewolves!"

"Fascinating. So what?"

"So! He's still just a kid, he hasn't hit puberty so his eye color hasn't changed yet!"

"Remus had amber eyes when he was first year, though."

"Werewolves start to hit puberty around ten. It's because they only have three major instincts: food, sex, and survival."

"So you're saying that Remus was horny when he was ten? That's creepy, Sirius."

"No, you idiot. Werewolf puberty and human puberty aren't the same thing. Werewolves start at ten because they develop other things that humans don't, like heightened senses. From ten to thirteen their hormones change and their sense of smell and sight increase, they can even begin to see in the dark. Their eyes change! It's not until they're around 12 or 13 that the sex hormones kick in, just like humans".

"That has nothing to do with Conan."

"It has _everything_ to do with Conan! Don't you see? If Conan was a bit older, his eyes would have changed to amber. Making him the spitting image of Remus back in first year!"

"You can't possibly be suggesting-"

"Well why not? It makes total sense! That's why he looks so much like Remy!"

"Yeah, except you're forgetting the fact that Remus Lupin is a 24 year old adult and Conan is just a kid. There's no way Remus could somehow, magically be turned into a child. That's ridiculous."

"There's only one way to find out," Sirius said, positively bouncing up and down.

"How?"

"If he has the same bite mark, in the same place as Remy. There's no way that could be a coincidence."

"And if he doesn't have the same mark? You're going to be heartbroken all over again, and not to mention totally humiliate Conan," Lily spoke up.

"But Lily, this explains so much! This is why he couldn't come back! He's somehow lost all his memories and-"

"And somehow been turned into a nine year old?" Lily challenged.

"It could happen!" Sirius said defensively.

"Merlin help us," James muttered. "Well where was Moony's bite then?"

"Remy's was on the right side of his stomach. An original bite mark that turns a human into a werewolf never completely heals. They can't be charmed or transfigured in any way, so there's no way you could fake, hide or change one. No matter what kind of magic that has been used."

"So now we just see if Conan has the same mark? And if he does he's our long lost friend who was magicked into being a child again?" James asked, clarifying the current events.

"Correct," Sirius said grinning.

"Right. What are we going to do if it is Remus? We still have no idea how to change him back," James said.

"You two are ridiculous! First let's find out where Conan's mark is, before you go resurrecting an old friend." Lily sighed, "I swear Sirius if you are wrong about this, I'm going to be convinced you're a secret crack addict, and we're going to start you on mental therapy."

"Fine by me," Sirius said turning around to face Conan. Conan wasn't there. "Conan?"

"Where'd he go?" James asked, taking off his glasses and rubbing them, as if that was the reason he couldn't see Conan.

"You probably freaked him out, Sirius," Lily said softly.

"Well we've got to find him! I can't lose Moony all over again!"

"_If! _If it even is Remus!" Lily corrected him.

"Even if it's not, I still care about Conan and wouldn't want him out wandering the streets alone." Sirius said angrily.

"Well where would a nine year old werewolf go?"

"Maybe he went back to my house?" Sirius suggested hopefully.

"Right, because if a person was upset with you, the first place they'd go would be your house," James said sarcastically. Sirius glared at him.

"I don't suppose you have any better ideas, of where to look?"

"Hmm, well where did you two meet? Maybe he went back to where he used to live?"

"Brilliant, Prongs! He probably went back to his box!"

"He lived in a box?" Lily asked sympathetically. "The poor boy. No wonder he looks so lonely."

"Right, I'll go check the alleyway. Lily, you look around the areas around here and James check my house just to be sure."

"A Maurader job! Haven't been on one of these in years!" James said excitedly. "We'll call it 'Moony: The Rescue Mission!'"

"Creative," Sirius said sarcastically. "We'll regroup here in ten minutes."

"Be careful, you two. If someone did manage to somehow magic Remus into a child, they're using a dangerous kind of magic," Lily warned.

Sirius apparated into the alleyway where they had first met. He had to find Conan. He had to know if he was really Remus. If he was Remus, that meant that Remus never left him at all. That all this time, Remus had simply been lost. Sirius tried to keep calm. He looked around, and found the old cardboard box. It was empty. He searched through the rest of the alleyway but it was completely deserted. Sirius felt his hope and excitement drop as fear settled in, he might have lost him...again.

Conan was running as fast as he could, even though he couldn't see a thing because his vision was blurred with tears. How stupid of him to think that Sirius cared about him, just for him. The only reason Sirius helped him was because Sirius wanted his old friend back, not stuck with some werewolf kid. How he had wanted Sirius to care about him. Conan shivered wondering what could have been if Sirius had loved him like a son. He was so desperate for love that he didn't even stop to realize that he might be hurt.

Conan ran and ran and ran. He was used to running. Out on the streets the ones who could run, survived. If you ran, you weren't locked up in jail. If you ran, you weren't caught by angry food stand people, when you knicked some food to eat. If you ran, you could escape the bullying kids who threw rocks and tried to beat you up. If you ran, you could almost pretend that the problems behind you wouldn't catch up with you. So Conan ran.

Sirius apparated back to the Potter house.

"No sign of him mate. Checked every room and hiding place I could think of. Even checked out the shed with the path to the forest."

"I couldn't find him either. I was going to ask around to see if anyone saw him run by, but no one is out and about on Christmas day. Everyone is indoors with their families."

"Where could he be?"

"Is there any other place the two of you went together?" Lily asked.

Sirius thought desperately. "Not really. We haven't known each other that long so it's not like we've been to tons of places." He looked out the window where the sun was setting. Where was Conan? He thought of the night when Conan had tried to run away to protect him, how fast Conan could run. "Let's check further around your place, he might have run further than we would think."

Conan finally collapsed, his breath heaving, in a park. Conan hadn't been here in three years. This is where his memories begun. Where he had first opened his eyes, and began his life. As his breathing eased, the tears came back. He sat sniffling alone in the park with a just recently set sun.

"You poor dear, what's the matter?"

Conan tensed as he usually did when meeting someone new. He looked up to see a pudgy woman wearing an excessive amount of pink. Conan could smell her scent from where he was sitting. She smelt sweet, sickly sweet.

"Are you alright? You're not all alone out here, are you?"

Conan nodded and his eyes filled with renewed tears. He was indeed alone again. He could never face Sirius again. Sirius didn't want him, he only wanted his friend back. And while Conan might want the comforts of Sirius' water, food and shelter, he needed Sirius' love more. Anyone's love. He'd gone too long without it. To have experienced a small taste of what it might feel like to be loved, he'd craved more and ended up being hurt. Conan realized now that it was inevitable that Sirius would have one day realized just how dangerous he was and would have kicked him out anyways. It would hurt more then, when Conan had lowered all of his defenses. So being away from Sirius now would be in his best interests.

"Dear, dear," The woman simpered. "This just won't do. A child needs a proper home. Would you like to come stay with me?"

Conan looked at her. She seemed nice enough. Something inside him made him hesitate, though.

"You've been crying. Obviously someone hurt you. Trust me, child, whoever hurt you isn't worth the tears. Come with me." She held out a thick-fingered hand. Conan stood up, and walked slowly towards her. "That's it," she crooned. "You can stay with me."

Conan hesitated a second more. What did he have to lose? He let his hand touch hers.

With a faint popping sound, the playground was empty.

**A/N: **Leave a review letting me know what you thought! Things are going to get intense for our characters from here on out xD My birthday is on the ninth so I'll be busy the next week or two celebrating with friends and family, but I hope I'll be able to post soon! Oh and as a gift to you all, I drew a sketch of what Conan looks like to me. I'll put it up on my livejournal when I post the next chapter. Love to my readers!


	5. Captured

**A/N: **JK owns Harry Potter. **_Warning:_ **Violence. Please do not read if you can't handle reading about violence.

* * *

><p>Chapter 4:<p>

Sirius had had a sudden realization of a way to track down Conan and had transformed into Padfoot. He set his doggy nose to the ground at the Potter's house and barked loudly when he picked up Conan's scent. He had found it! He followed the trail of scent, snuffling his snout along the ground. James followed after him to make sure the dog wouldn't run out into any streets while keeping his nose set firmly to the ground; James knew that Sirius was on a warpath to find Conan and nothing, not even an oncoming car, would stop him. Padfoot began to run; sure he was on the right path to find Conan. He ran for a decent amount of time before coming across a playground. He followed the scent until it suddenly stopped. Stopped? But where was Conan? He circled around and around but the trail was dead. Sirius transformed back into his human self, ignoring the shout from James to be more careful that there might be muggles around.

"The scent stops here," Sirius said.

"What do you mean it stops? That's not possible. He had to go somewhere."

"It just ends, right here. Prongs do you think he apparated?"

"He's way too young to learn how to apparate. There's no way he could know how, and even if he did he doesn't have a wand does he?"

Sirius shook his head.

"Maybe he apparated with someone?" James asked.

"Side-along? But who else does he know? I was under the impression he hadn't had much contact with other humans. Or at least not good contact."

"Kidnapping?" James asked at a total loss. Sirius looked surprised, could that have happened?

"Seems a bit convenient?" Sirius asked hopefully. He didn't want to think of what was happening to Conan if he _had_ been kidnapped.

"Dunno mate. How else could his scent vanish with him not being able to apparate. Maybe the person who apparated with him was just trying to be a Good Samaritan like you were."

"James, we've got to find him," Sirius said. James took note of his best friend's worried voice and desperately anxious expression.

"We'll find him, Sirius. We're not letting Moony get away again," James said firmly. Sirius nodded.

* * *

><p>The first thing Conan felt, as he gained consciousness, was an ache in his side form laying on a very hard, unyielding surface. He had a pounding headache. He slowly opened his eyes and saw only darkness.<p>

_What happened?_

Conan sat up, holding his head in an attempt to lessen the pain he felt. He thought back to what had happened. He remembered running away from Sirius, crying in the park, and then a lady dressed in pink had taken him away. When they had arrived he remembered feeling a blow to the head and the rest was darkness.

_She hit me? Why? She doesn't even know that I'm a monster yet. _Conan thought perplexed. Oh why had he run away from Sirius? Why had he run from the one person who had ever seemed to care about his existence? And then he remembered how Sirius didn't want him, but his friend Remus. Conan hung his head.

_At least Sirius seemed to like me for a little while. _Conan thought morosely.

His thoughts were disrupted however when the door to the cellar he was in banged open. The pink lady and a ferocious looking man with wild hair matted with blood and sharp yellow teeth entered the room.

"Who are you? What do you want?" Conan asked, trying to sound braver than he felt.

"You just had to go and find him didn't you? By being with him you're completely disregarding my plans. It seems that the two of you are just drawn to each other," The pink lady said. "It's disgusting." Her voice was filled with hate and repulsion. "So since you are making things difficult, we're going to have to do things the hard way. I'm afraid things might get a bit… nasty, but there you are. It's only because I'm trying to cure you boy."

"I don't understand what you're talking about. I think you have the wrong person," Conan tried.

"Fenrir," the pink lady said ignoring him. "It's time to try your approach." And with that the pink lady left, leaving the scary looking man alone with Conan.

"Remus, it's been a long time hasn't it?" Fenrir said, grinning a smile so foul it was hard to look at.

"My name isn't Remus. It's Conan," Conan said. _Why does everyone want me to be this stupid Remus guy?_ "Who are you?"

"Your maker," Fenrir said. "You always were a disappointment to me. Always trying to blend in with those pathetic humans, you never respected the ways of a true wolf. However with this potion the fat lady's got you on, you eat like a normal wolf should. Flesh of the human. Might be I'll train you into a real killer, if you survive that is."

"I –wha, what are you talking about? Do you mean – you're a werewolf too?"

"Course I am! I'm the one who bit you in the first place."

"You bit me?" Conan said completely in shock of what he was being told.

"Your father was an arrogant sod. Needed to be taught a lesson. Anyways enough talk; it's time to beat some sense into you. The more scars you get the more I get paid by that fat woman."

Fenrir pulled out a rope that had shards of glass sticking out of it. "Let's begin." He brought his arm back and then swung hard.

Conan screamed.

* * *

><p>"Lily what about a tracker spell? You're the best at those," James said.<p>

"I've already tried. There must be magic preventing the spells to go through."

"Well let's think. We know he's with a wizard or witch due to the apparition and that person has blocking spells. If this person has something personal against Conan they could have intentionally set up the blocking spells so he couldn't be found. However if they took Conan just to give him a place to go, many well-known wizards have blocking spells set on their house if they don't want the press to find them," James said thinking aloud.

"So it could be someone well up in the Ministry," Sirius said. Sirius was trying hard to keep himself together, he was worried about Conan. Something in Sirius' gut told him that Conan was in danger and that he had to find Conan as soon as possible.

"Why would someone want Conan for something personal?" Lily asked James.

"Maybe one of his victims during the full moon was a witch or wizard and the victim's family is retaliating," Sirius said. "Mad- Eye gave me his file. I'll look through it and see if he's attacked anyone who has connections to the wizarding world." Sirius apparated to his house to grab the file.

"I'll go to the Ministry and get a list of those who aren't working today," James said. "No one would pick up a boy and leave them alone at their house and go back to work. One of the people who aren't working might have Conan."

"But James, it's nearly Christmas. Surely tons of people aren't at work."

"Lils I have to try all I can. You saw Sirius' face. This is the most he's cared about something since Moony left. Even if Conan isn't really Moony, we still have to get him back for his sake as well as Sirius'. They need each other."

"James, I love how big your heart is," Lily said kissing her husband.

"That's not the only big thing you like about me," James said smirking.

"And there you go ruining a perfectly romantic moment," Lily said shoving her husband lightly but smiling none the less. James laughed and stepping toward the fireplace grabbed some flu powder.

"Be safe!" Lily said as her husband stepped into the green flames. Lily wouldn't admit it but she had a feeling they weren't dealing with a nice person who took a boy in just to be a good person. She had a feeling that whoever took him was bad news. And if Conan was really Moony, that made the person who had magicked him all the more treacherous. Someone who could have access to that kind of magic was bound to be highly dangerous.

Lily wasn't going to sit here and do nothing while some pshyco had hold of Conan, she needed to help too. She decided to hunt up some old books and look for the spell that would tell them what had turned Remus into a child with no memory. She'd help Sirius with his files once he got back, but for now she would start researching ways to set Conan back to Remus if it really was Remus.

* * *

><p>Again and again the rope fell and the shards of glass caught on his skin and when the rope was pulled back, ripped his flesh from him. Again and again he was beaten. He was sobbing, screaming, trying to get away, crawling across the floor, but there was nowhere to go. He was trapped. Locked in a cold, dark room with nothing but a monster to keep him company. Again and again. The pain, he couldn't take it anymore. It hurt. Again and again. Why? <em>Why? <em>Did this have to happen? Was he that much of a monster himself? Was he truly evil enough to deserve such suffering? Again and again. Fenrir kicked Conan and pushed one of the shards of glass that had broken off in Conan's skin deeper. The evil man swung the jagged rope again and again. Conan screamed, "SIRIUS! SIRIUS PLEASE! HELP ME!"

* * *

><p>James stepped out of the Ministry's fireplace and walked up to the welcome desk.<p>

"Martha, my gorgeous sunflower! How are you today?" He said giving her a bright smile.

"James! You haven't come to visit me in ages. I was beginning to think you had forgotten about me." The old woman said, blushing lightly at the sight of James.

"Forget about you, my dear? Never! Impossible!"

"Always the charmer, aren't you?"

"'Fraid so. It's a terrible affliction."

"What can I help you with today?"

"Well I'm currently doing a little research paper and I was wondering if it would be possible to get a list of employees who aren't in at work today. You know those who are home sick or on vacation. Purely for research purposes of course."

"Now, now Jamsie. You know I'm not allowed to give that information out."

"Oh Martha, you know I wouldn't ask unless it was for something important. Why it would make me so happy if I could just have one little copy," James gave the older woman his best puppy dog eyed look.

"Well I suppose one copy couldn't hurt," Martha said caving into James' adorable eyes.

"Thank you Martha, you're a life saver!" And with that he leaned forward and kissed the older woman's cheek. She blushed a bright pink before waving her wand to make a copy of the list.

* * *

><p>Sirius riffled through the paper work on his desk until he came across Conan's file. "Got it!" he apparated back to the Potter's and he and Lily sat down to go over all the papers.<p>

There was quite an amount of victims. Sirius' heart sank at the sight of how many of them there were. He felt bad that Conan had had to go through that; having no control to stop his body from hurting others. He also felt depressed at how many names he would have to go through before he could get even a small step closer to finding Conan. With a deep breath he set to work.

When James came back and saw the two of them working furiously through Conan's records he sat down with his own paperwork and they began to sort through all the names and possible people who might have Conan.

* * *

><p>Conan had been whipped and beaten to the extreme. His left hand had been held down in boiling hot water, his right arm had been broken, and his head was bleeding from a particularly nasty wound. Conan whimpered as he was thrown into a cage and locked in. His body was bloody and ripped up. He was bruised and sore and couldn't see out of one eye due to the swelling. He hadn't eaten or been given any water. Conan knew he was going to die here.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Please leave a review letting me know what you thought! More chapteres to come! ^.^  
>Oh and I posted a lame little sketch I drew of Conan on my livejournal, lol. You can check it out at llupinluverr dot livejournal dot com. Lupin Love to all my readers!<p> 


End file.
